“Get What You Want? ” by Adyashanti

When you allow awakeness in, you will find that it plays games with your life. It doesn’t move according to the agenda of the little me, the one who has all these ideas about this or that happening when you awaken. The awakeness could care less about the agendas you have. It’s moving, and it’s not listening to what you want, and you are grateful that it’s not listening.
You discover that it has its own movement, which I suppose is what real surrender is—following that movement. This is the real meaning of “Thy will be done.”
The mind may get concerned about being disarmed and letting go of all its concepts and scripts. It might say, “I may not get what I want.” And I say, you’re damned lucky if you don’t get what you want! I got nothing I wanted out of awakening. I thought it would solve lots of things. I had lots of ideas about what it was going to give me. Forget it! Not that you don’t get what you want, but you don’t care if you get what you want. I can’t think of one thing I got that I thought I would get.
The only thing that did happen was that I no longer cared. What a hideous dream it was-thinking those things were needed for me to be happy.
To welcome the mystery of your own being is satsang. This is in contrast to what spirituality often is—pushing your own being away, or defining the mystery, or dressing it up with pearls and flowers, etc., so it looks like a powerful mystery.
Satsang is a welcoming, such a welcoming, until the identification snaps and the mystery realizes, “Oh, this is what I am! I thought I was the one over there with that agenda. I thought I was the actor of roles. I thought I was the roles.” None of that is true. When the role called ”I’m a human being” ends, we call that death. It’s a lot easier if you let that role die before the body dies, and let it be put to rest now.
Through satsang you can awaken to being what you eternally are and have true life.
– Adyashanti, Emptiness Dancing

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