Conscious Parenting by Kim Eng

By Kim Eng

Our natural state is love. So, it’s only to be expected that children come into this world anticipating love. Most children, however, are not born into a family that demonstrates unconditional love, but, instead, one that is crying out in pain. This is a family made up of what I call “wounded souls”.

When we ourselves are wounded, we raise wounded children. A passage in the Old Testament says that the sins of the father will be passed down from generation to generation (Exodus 20:5). Until we are ready to awaken and begin to experience our natural state of love, we continue to pass along a lack of consciousness to our children, our families, our friends, and our co-workers. In other words, the more wounded we are, the more suffering we cause ourselves and others.

We are human beings. This implies, as Eckhart says, that there are two dimensions to who we are: the human and the Being. The human dimension consists of the physical body and the conditioned mind, plus the emotions that accompany it. However, without awareness or presence – which is the dimension of Being – our humanness assumes a complexity that rapidly becomes dysfunctional. In this way, an oversized ego develops, obscures our Being and creates a false sense of identity.

The dimension of Being is formless. We may call it spirit, consciousness or awareness. Raising conscious children requires aware or conscious parenting. So there are, I would say, two aspects to conscious parenting: the human development and the unfolding of Being. Telling your child to tidy their room, do their homework, helping them with schoolwork and answering their questions to the best of your ability… all this is to do with your child’s human development. The human, which Eckhart also calls “doing”, is, of course, necessary, but it alone can never lead to lasting happiness without the realization of Being, which is the realization of who or what you are in your essence.

The Being unfolds to a true expression of itself, like a flower gracefully unfolding its petals. Both these dimensions, human and Being, need to be acknowledged and supported in a child’s life.

When we forget who we are, and the people around us have forgotten who they are, how can we expect our children to remember who they are? It’s vital that we remind ourselves and our children who they are at their core. Here’s one way to help your child remain in or regain connection to their Being. Take a walk in nature and share that experience fully with your child. Breathe the air, smell the scents, look and listen to the sounds, and be with nature without labelling your perceptions. Labels deaden our ability to connect with the essence of nature, which is life. The essence of nature is also the essence of who or what we are – the Being within.

Most of the time, we interact with children only on the human level rather than on the level of consciousness. This “lack of Being” creates further separation from their true nature, which they cannot sense. When we realize that human and Being are one, our relationships with our children can change. As we realize that their primary destiny is the flowering of their Being, their human development is put in its rightful place, as a necessary, but secondary aspect to their upbringing.

Kim Eng is a teacher and healer, as well as a facilitator of her Presence through Movementworkshops and practice. Her teachings are aimed at the transformation of consciousness through the integration of body, mind, and spirit. To learn more about Resist Nothing or to purchase a copy, click here. For more information about Kim Eng and her work, click here.


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