On The Path To Self-Acceptance or Who is your very best friend in the whole wide world that will never ever leave you?

When we realize that we are more than our human selves, we recognize a part of us that feels “in the zone” at times in our lives.  It is a moment when we feel connected to something beyond ourselves.  This moment may occur when we are out walking in nature, hearing the waves crashing on the beach, We become ‘in sync’ with an energy that expands us, opens our hearts in a joyful feeling, creates an intuitive knowing within us that the material world is not all there is.

There is something more to us….we can sense it……not with our usual five senses of tasting, smelling, seeing with our eyes, hearing with our ears, touching with our bodies……all these senses transform beyond themselves.  We all know this place in our being at some times in our lives.  It is when we are awake to the truth of who we are.

And then we fall back into our regular human mind.  We experience judgment of ourselves.  And we know the feeling of judgment of others.  We know the place of fear in all its many disguises.  We see this fear woven into our many belief systems about ourselves and our lives.  We look at our lives as though it was a living story; we fall into it and begin to belief that our story is truly who we are.  We forget about our ‘moments’.  Life takes us over and we fall asleep.  We believe the dream of our stories and we begin to passively snore our way through life……..feeling disconnected and as though something were always missing but we can’t remember what it is or where we left it.  We have a hazy, vague feeling of wanting to connect with something; we want to go ‘Home’ but like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, we don’t know where it is.

But the Path is right in front of us.  But where, we ask?  We are looking and we can’t find it.  That is because it is us.  It is our life.  If we stand back and look at our lives…….it is a story.  It is a teaching story.  It is a tool to teach us how to wake up and to realize the Love that we really are.  If we feel the beauty  of ourselves at our very best……what is the best word that describes how we feel at that moment?  We can use the word Love.  Not the word love…..this word denotes the human conception of love.  How will another person or something like money, food, attractiveness, power, etc. truly make us feel good?  That is not Love.  Love is not neediness.  Love is complete within itself.  Love is the glue that connects everything in a heart rendering opening of Oneness.  Love just Is.  It is us.

In order to experience this feeling of connection we must learn from the teachers of our lives about the process of self-acceptance.  Every person and every situation that enters our lives is a potential teacher for us to realize who we truly are.  Learning to be self-accepting means we learn to have compassion for ourselves in every moment.

That sounds good and comforting but our interpretations of our life stories can get in the way.   How we label ourselves and place judgments in all ways large and small keep us from accepting ourselves and cloud our ability to experience our ‘Beingness’.   We fall back into our ego selves…..with a thud.  But that is OK but the thud is a teaching tool as well.  Everything assists us to learn self-acceptance.

What if we were to just let the mind that feels threatened by the idea of self-acceptance sit over in the corner and have a cup of tea?  What if we were to just sit quietly, breathing in deeply a feeling of compassion for ourselves?  The mind yells over from its respite, “yes, but remember when you did such and such, remember when you…..remember when…..remember……….taking deep breaths of compassion still the mind.  It goes back to drinking tea in the corner.  The heart holds the self in deep acceptance and unconditional understanding.  The heart expands into the full self.  All is well.  The mind starts to mouth something in the heart’s direction and ends up muttering to itself.  The heart smiles.

The love and the light energy streaming from the heart is too much for the mind to conjure up another judgmental thought.  The heart vibrates in radiation of Love.  The body begins to feel better.  Deep breaths release old stuck energy of negative thoughts toward the self.  The stiffness of the neck eases.  The lungs expand with flexibility.

The mind gets ready to remind the heart again.  The mind thinks it has a job to do to protect the system by continually reminding the self how it is not good enough.  It thinks it is helping.  The mind thinks that if it complains enough about that ‘self’, the self will somehow get better.  The mind seems to think that the pain will grow enough to get the self’s attention and in some mysterious manner the negative thoughts will motivate the self to change.

The heart understands this and illuminates the mind with pulsating waves of compassion.  These waves whisper to the mind that it doesn’t matter what interpretations have been made and what judgments were cast ; it was in the past….in the present moment…..the self is loved no matter what.    The mind feels better and is not certain exactly why, but the mind actually forgets what it was about to say.  The stillness is healing in its emptiness.  And yet it is full of Love.

Always, always, always hold ourselves in compassion.  Not just sometimes but all the time. This amazing process leads us to self-forgiveness, a greater ability to take responsibility for our actions, strengthening connection, increasing awareness, empowerment, realizing joy in our lessons…….and an increasing ability to accept others in a growing unconditional way as we do ourselves.  We are all doing the best we can in every moment.

If we let that be OK, then we will naturally move into expanded levels of consciousness.   We tend to forget we are OK.  Divinity is our center.  Our essence continually sends waves of compassion washing over our personality selves.  In every moment we can choose to open and receive it.  Who is your very best friend in the whole wide world that will never leave you?

2010 Copyright Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D.

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