“Convention for those wounded in love” by Paul Coelho

Love this writing by Paul Coelho!!!   Enjoy………..

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”.   Because they haven’t.

(Free to share. Just mention the author, please!) The author is Paul Coelho.

Balancing Masculine & Feminine by Ayal Hurst

Balancing Masculine & Feminine

By Ayal Hurst [http://www.trans4mind.com/healing/]

The balance of male and female makes us whole. We all have a feminine side and a masculine side to us. In Jungian psychology, it is termed the anima and animus: the male has an inner feminine, while the female has an inner masculine. This makes total sense, as we all come from both the masculine and the feminine – a mother and a father: egg and sperm. Neither is more or less important than the other – they simply offer us different and very necessary parts of our being.

The aspect of the masculine contains (in brief) the more rational, direct, practical, assertive qualities, while the feminine is the creative, intuitive, feeling, visionary part. The feminine also contains the ability to look inward, as the masculine quality is outward directed. Just as it is necessary to be able to cope with the world and its demands, as the masculine part of our being does so well in its pure, non distorted state, so too, being introspective is a crucial aspect of who we are. In our society in general, the feminine aspect of our being, (as with women in general), has been labeled “less than.” For a man, in some ways, showing feminine qualities, or feelings, has even been forbidden. If a man is seen as sensitive and introspective, he is laughed at and labeled a wimp. Therefore, for a man, often it becomes dangerous to show feelings or let others in, as there is a great fear of ridicule and rejection.

Why this has come to be is a long story, but the gist of it is, it is unbalanced to think that either aspect of our being, whether it be our masculine energy or our feminine energy, is stupid, less than, or something to be demeaned or denied. It is clear as crystal that one without the other doesn’t work to create life, whether that means the creation of various aspects of our life and dreams, or the creation of a child. The old and unbalanced masculine programming that most men were given tells one that when you are introspective you are doing something wrong. Your feminine part knows you must go inward to be a clear human being. Women are also told that to be assertive, pro active, and use one’s own power and abilities – the masculine aspect of oneself – is not appropriate. When the pure essence of the masculine energy is distorted, it turns into aggression. When the true essence of the feminine is distorted, it becomes resentful and withdraws love and connectedness. The feminine energy is all about relationship, connecting with love and support and nurturance, sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. The masculine, in its true essence, gets the job done in a way that is reliable, trustworthy, protective. When the masculine is balanced, it responds and communicates in such a way that others feel safe, physically as well as emotionally.

If a man gets very much out of balance by denying his feminine inner self, he will most likely have difficulties in that he will not be able to be in touch with his feelings, and this can lead to difficulties in relationships with others, not to mention oneself. A man, or woman, who denies her feminine, may substitute the lack of warmth that they feel in themselves for ambition, for ego attainment and accomplishment. and live a mostly analytical way of life. Mind over heart, in other words. While the rational certainly has its place and is an extremely important aspect of our being, without heart it becomes hard and cold, judgmental, critical, and aloof. A woman who denies her masculine becomes too soft, too passive, unable to move forward in her life or make decisions, and overly dependent upon others.

There are many ways to get in touch with whatever part of us has been repressed or has become distorted, or out of balance. One excellent method is to do a visualization where you find some quiet, alone time. Put on some gentle, soothing music (instrumental, no voices) and, after becoming quiet and relaxed, breathing deeply and gently for a few minutes, with eyes closed, you ask to see and speak with your feminine side. Then you Trust whatever shows up for you – whether it be impressions, or information, or thoughts, or a visual image, or a flash of memory or understanding. You then hold a conversation with this part and ask it what it needs, what may be troubling it, asking how you can help it to be more available to you, or more healthy. Then you also do this with your masculine side.

As you work and directly connect with both parts of yourself, you will create a new and healthier, more dynamic balance between them. You can then ask them to converse together, with each other, to share with one another what is needed also to create a symbiotic and complimentary, safe, trustworthy, wholeness between them. What is revealed may prove to be quite interesting. It is a good practice to do this checking in now and again to continue the healing and the growth process. This allows a healthy evolution of the masculine and feminine aspects of oneself. It creates a highly functional relationship between them, which then allows one to create healthy relationships in the external world. Working in harmony, honoring the gifts which each aspect of our being brings to us, creates a dynamic and healthy, well balanced life.

It is a timely issue. It IS time for all of us to be in and create a harmonious balance between the male and female parts of ourselves, to get beyond the duality of conflict into wholeness, where the whole is greater than the parts. We see this evidenced in the outer world every day as women struggle to be accepted, to find their own power, fearing that they will be put down or thought of as sexual objects. We see it in the aggression, stress, and fear men experience, struggling to be in relationship, but not knowing how. We see it in the movements that have taken place over the last 20 years to bring greater equality to the sexes. We have become polarized, the male and female struggling against one another, out of touch with one another, with no tools to bridge the gap. We see this in the high divorce rates, in unhappy lives, and in the distress of our children. We even see this division polarized on a world wide level – the issues of aggression and domination, and war. We need to be moving beyond partisanship, toward living in harmonious, honoring relationship as a global community. In reality the male/female balance is a oneness, as everything in Life is, both beautiful, both equal, different parts of a greater whole.

Two excellent books to read to gain profound and fascinating information about the masculine and feminine are Theun Mares’s books: The Quest for Maleness [http://www.amazon.com/dp/1919792074?tag=toolsfortransfor]. Highly recommended!

How to Deal with a Narcissist by Judith Orloff, MD

This is an article written by Judith Orloff, MD which is from a part of her book, “Emotional Freedom”.  This article is from Huffington Post.  I think it is a very helpful writing in dealing with the dynamics of narcissism…..particularly for those of us recovering codependents who sometimes seem to attract this personality type.

As a psychiatrist, I strongly believe that it is important to know about the narcissistic personality so you can have realistic expectations when dealing with coworkers, friends or family members who may have some of these qualities.

In “Emotional Freedom” I describe how to recognize a narcissist. Here are some ways: Their motto is “Me first!” Everything’s all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, crave admiration and attention. A legend in their own mind, the world is reflected in their image. They’ll corner you at a party, recount their life saga. Some narcissists are unlikable, flagrant egotists. Others can be charming, intelligent, caring — that is, until their guru-status is threatened. When you stop stroking their ego or beg to disagree, they can turn on you and become punishing. Once you catch onto this pattern, a narcissist seems about as charming as a banana peel.

These people are so dangerous because they lack empathy, have a limited capacity for unconditional love. Sadly, their hearts either haven’t developed or have been shut down due to early psychic trauma, such as being raised by narcissistic parents, a crippling handicap both emotionally and spiritually. The damage of narcissistic parenting is outstandingly detailed in Alice Miller’s “Drama of the Gifted Child.” Hard as it may be to comprehend, these people have little insight into their actions, nor do they regret them. Though often highly intuitive, they mainly use intuition for self-interest and manipulation. As the Hassidic proverb cautions, “There is no room for God in him that is full of himself.”

To find out if you’re dealing with a narcissist, ask yourself the following questions from “Emotional Freedom.”

QUIZ: Am I in a Relationship With a Narcissist?

  • Does the person act as if life revolves around him?
  • Do I have to compliment him to get his attention or approval?
  • Does the person constantly steer the conversation back to him or herself?
  • Does he or she downplay my feelings or interests?
  • If I disagree, does he or she become cold or withholding?

If you answer “yes” to one or two questions, it’s likely you’re dealing with a narcissist. Responding “yes” to three or more questions suggests that a narcissist is violating your emotional freedom.

Narcissists are hard nuts to crack. With these patients, the best I can do is align with their positive aspects and focus on behaviors that they agree aren’t working. Still, even if one wants to change, progress is limited, with meager gains. My professional advice: Don’t fall in love with a narcissist or entertain illusions they’re capable of the give and take necessary for intimacy. In such relationships you’ll always be emotionally alone to some degree. If you have a withholding narcissist spouse, beware of trying to win the nurturing you never got from your parents; it’s not going to happen. Also, don’t expect to have your sensitivity honored. These people sour love with all the hoops you must jump through to please them.

If a narcissist is draining you emotionally, use these methods to get your power back.

Lower Your Expectations and Strategize Your Needs

  • Keep your expectations realistic.
    Enjoy their good qualities, but understand they’re emotionally limited, even if they’re sophisticated in other ways. Accepting this, you won’t continue asking something of friends, family, or coworkers they can’t give. Consider this definition of insanity: when you repeat the same actions but expect a different response.
  • Never make your self-worth dependent on them.
    Don’t get caught in the trap of always trying to please a narcissist. Also protect your sensitivity. Refrain from confiding your deepest feelings to someone who won’t cherish them.
  • Show how something will be to their benefit.
  • To successfully communicate with narcissists, frame things this way. Stating your needs clearly rarely works, nor does getting angry, or demanding. Alternatively, speak to what means something to them. Instead of saying to your spouse, “I’d really enjoy going to a family dinner,” reframe it as, “Everyone really likes you. They’d be delighted to have you there.” Or instead of saying to your employer, “I’d prefer to work fewer nights,” say, “I can bring in more revenue for your company during these hours.” Naturally, it’s better not to have to contend with the tedious ego-stroking of a narcissist. But if the relationship is unavoidable, use this technique to achieve your desired outcome.
  • The video is here:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-orloff-md/how-to-deal-with-a-narcis_b_676193.html
  • The Art of Jumping Time Lines from Tom Kenyon at tomkenyon.com

    Although it may seem paradoxical to some, your timeline—your life—is only one of many simultaneous possibilities. And it is quite possible, indeed it is your birthright, to alter your timeline and the potentials of your life.

    Your culture, for various reasons, has hypnotized you into believing that you are limited to one timeline. In this message we shall endeavor to discuss our understanding of timelines and how you can change them.

    Whenever there is an increase of chaotic events, there is a convergence of multiple timelines. Due to the fact that your planet has entered a Chaotic Node and is experiencing ever-increasing levels of chaos, there is also an increase in what we cal ltime nodes.

    Time nodes occur when two or more timelines converge. As a result of their close proximity oscillation effects sometimes occur when the realities of one timeline bleed through, or are psychically perceived by those on a neighboring timeline. Strong timelines can also literally affect the possibilities and/or probabilities of other timelines within a time node. In other words, creative and novel effects often occur within timelines when they enter a time node (proximity to other timelines).

    These are evolutionary jumpstarts that hold tremendous possibility for accelerated evolution if you understand how to utilize them. As a result of the volatile nature of events on your planet, there are multiple time nodes emerging. This is a very complicated and complex affair, and we shall endeavor to break it down into its smallest segments, for we believe that this information has vital significance for those of you engaged in the ascension process, and for its sheer survival value. Let us turn our attention to the larger picture first and then to the individual strategies we suggest. More

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