Give What It Is You Want to Get

Give what it is you want to get.  Sometimes when we hear that statement, our inner rebel stands with arms folded across our chest and says, “No, I should get it first!  And then I will give it.”   Or perhaps this response:  “If I give it, I expect you to reciprocate immediately or I will be angry!”  Or even….”If I give it and you don’t, I will never give it again!”

These interactions are some of the games we play in the field of relationships.  The playing comes from the duality of thinking I am separate from you.  The truth is that when we give to each other we are giving to ourselves as well.

For example, perhaps I would like more space to be myself in a particular relationship .   Perhaps I feel that you don’t hear me.  I want more experience of being heard.  I keep focusing on YOU hearing ME and acknowledging ME.   I notice every time you don’t listen to me.  I get wrapped up in my needing you to be a certain way.  I am controlling the process but I don’t even realize it because I am thinking I am right and you just need to listen to me and you will get it right.  I am so determined for you to hear me that I have forgotten about you.

Am I giving what I want to get?  How do I hear you?  Am I listening openly and with acceptance?………even if I don’t like what I am hearing?  Is my heart open to you and to your process or am I hell-bent on being heard? What happens if I open the space with my attention to hearing you, accepting you?  When I move into sharing the space, I am amazed.  Something is different.  I am hearing you……it seems strangely like the first time.  I hear your struggles, your hopes and dreams.  There is clearly a change in energy.  I hear you clearly because I have moved out of my contracted self and into the space that connects us.  My heart embraces you as I listen to you.

Unbelieveably, I am not thinking of myself.  I see you not as the controller of my space but another soul working its process.  I practice this giving what I want to get…….over and over.  I am curiously addicted to this new way of thinking and behaving.  I become aware of how much I have missed in sharing your process of becoming.  I see you blossom in my acceptance of you.  And I see you opening to me in a deeply interested way.  You are asking me questions and listening to my answers.  I feel your presence in our shared space.  I am amazed that I have forgotten the beautiful grace of giving.  I want to live there always.

The world looks different to us today…….it expanded in ways we didn’t know before.  The sun rises on a dark place of the past and we smile in a new understanding of connection with one another.   We got it today…….as long as we keep giving.

2010andreaavaristevens

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