Expanding Beyond Fear

This week I discovered that I have bands of protection around my heart.  If someone had told me that before I discovered it, I would have said……..no way!  Uhhuh…….don’t think so……can’t be. I do my work.  I have already taken care of any supposed ‘protective bands.’   I am open; I am vulnerable……I would say to myself.   And then…there they were……beautiful protective bands doing their job with steel commitment….gleaming in the light that shone upon them………keeping my heart safe.

I am deeply grateful to these bands of safety.  They were there for as long as protection was needed. And these bands that wound around my heart were not going to abandon me as long as I needed protection.   And as it turned out, I really did need them.

There were concealed wounds and fear that needed to be hidden from the penetrating invitation that is always pulsing from the energy of higher love.  And now the universe had initiated the clarion call to healing.  I was being called to love more deeply.  That is such a good thing.  And then there is the huge challenge  in being called to love in a way that one has never loved.   It is unknown territory.As much as we all want love so very much……….it if gets too close then our red flags are hoisted high on the pole of safety.  We want it but not so much as to engulf us……….or, on the other hand, we just might get so used to this blissful feeling of love that our fears of it abandoning us are just too great a risk to take.  We would rather climb into the safety of the turtle’s shell and pop our heads out when we decide the conditions are secure……… as though we are in control.  Not.

Coming into my awareness in the healing process I could see and feel the strength, the binding molecules of the steel holding tightly to one another,  joining together  where the sum truly is greater than the parts gathered.   The combined power of the bands drew my attention to what was underneath.  Instantly, I knew by feeling the feeling of a higher sense of love …….what was cowering under protection.  We all have been hurt by those we have loved……….the hows, whys, and wherefores are not important.  When higher love calls to us these wounds want to be healed and to join in the light.

But it is so easy to just cover our feelings with a distraction or two or three.  How about food, sex, adventure, yoga, tv, drugs and alcohol or ……….. anything that we can use in a manner that takes away our feelings and replaces them with comforting thoughts.  How easily we can find those cushy places that do not challenge us to grow our hearts.  And how often do we want love to show up on our doorstep, get frustrated when it doesn’t, and wonder why oh why……are we not attracting what we want?  We have to be the love that we want to have.  We have to do the work to Be it.

We have to feel our feelings and move through them.  So many people want to focus on only positive thoughts, positive images.  The negative (we could call them by that name but they carry wonderful gifts!) feelings are swept under the carpet for another day.  By answering the call of deeper love we are given the opportunity to see what subtle and crafty little mechanism of denial we are using to protect ourselves from what we want so much.  Our greatest desire can be the love of another person, a yearning to know the Divine more deeply, a desire to connect more closely with nature…….all the universe is calling us into deeper love in every moment.  Our question is what is holding us back in making the choice to step forward, into that deeper love?  It is fear of the unknown and the antidote is always love.

©2010andreaavaristevens

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